The Son I Should Have Had
by misteeirene
Summary: Stiles cant handle the pain from being pushed out of the pack and the fact that his dad would rather spend time with Scott instead of him, so he decides to take his own life. Will he succeed, or will someone step in and save him? Stiles/Derek, attempted suicide, slash


I do not own Teen Wolf.

Please note, I will no longer be posting new fics here, but I will continue updating current WIP's here. All new fics will be just posted on AO3

I hope you enjoy this one shot

Please review

HAPPY NEW YEAR

***TW

To the poor bastard unlucky enough to find this journal and my cold dead body, first I want to apologize to you for having to see my rotting corpse, I'm sure that it's not pretty and the smell has to be frightful. I hope you don't suffer from nightmares after this, but believe me, there's worse things out there then a dead body. There's things out there that will traumatize you for life and turn your hair white. I should know, I have first hand experience with most of those things.

Secondly, I ask that you make sure this journal ends up in the hands of my father, Sheriff John Stilinski of Beacon Hills. I hope you don't read this journal first as its full of personal shit and things that will make your head spin, but if you do read it, please make sure that none of the pictures get lost. I double taped each picture to their correct pages because without the pictures, the journal entries won't have the same effect.

Dude, I spent a lot of time on these pictures, please just don't lose any.

A little bit of background information about myself before I delve into the messy shit that was my life. I use the word was, as in the past, because by the time anyone reads this depressing journal, I will be nothing more than a rotting corpse laying on a dirty, cheap, hotel room bed. What you will find inside this journal is a detailed account of what led me, a stunningly handsome and insanely smart, seventeen year old boy, to take his my life. What led me, Stiles Stilinski, to take a razor blade to the insides of my wrists.

Technically my name is not Stiles, Stiles is just a name I gave myself when I was little and no one could pronounce my real name. I mean, I just don't understand what all the fuss was about, Mieczyslaw Stilinski just rolls right off the tongue. It doesn't make any sense why everyone struggled with my wonderful name, but to make life easier for my teachers, friends, and myself, I came up with the name Stiles.

Friends! Ha, like I ever had any. Well, I thought I had a friend, the best in the whole world, but dear Scotty decided that I was no longer worthy enough to be his friend so he kicked my sorry ass to the curb then moved on with better and more popular friends. That is what partially brings us here today, to this dreary hotel room with a corpse laying on the bed in a pool of its own blood.

Dude, I just thought of something, I really hope they toss this mattress out after they haul my body to the morgue. Can you imagine being the poor, unsuspecting idiot to check into this room after me and sleep on this bed? Gross! Maybe my dad can offer up the owners some of my college fund money to replace the mattress, that will be the right thing to do and it's not like I am going to be using any of that money. I'm pretty sure dead people don't go to college. I had thought about killing myself outside in the preserve somewhere, but more than likely no one will notice me missing for days, probably more like weeks, and the thought of bugs and other critters munching on me really gives me the willies. I know I will be dead and all so it shouldn't matter, but no Buffet Stiles for the critters and insects of Beacon Hills, thank you very much.

Sigh, I really should get on with this. I have a tendency to ramble on and on, it's my ADHD, but I really must get on with the killing of Stiles Stilinski. It's been seven years since I have seen my mom and I'm anxious to get this over with so I can see her again. Do people who kill themselves go to heaven? I sure as hell hope so because I know that my momma is an angel in heaven and I want to be able to feel one of her famous Claudia Stilinski hugs again.

So, before we get this show on the road, a little instructions first. I have dated each day the event happened then added a picture and story to go along with it. I know it seems weird to have pictures of so many depressing events, but I wanted to document my senior year so I had been taking pictures of everything. I had planned on making a scrapbook to share with the pack before everything went to shit.

Yes, I said Pack! If you're reading this and you're not my dad or part of the pack, just assume that I call my group of friends a pack. Well, they were my friends, but I stopped being theirs a long time ago. Just don't dwell on the word pack...or anything that seems insanely odd to you. Like werewolves. Werewolves aren't real, why would you even think that?

Before you start reading this, do me a favor and order a large milkshake, flavor or your choice, and a side of curly fries. Man, milk shakes and curly fries are better than sex. Not that I have first hand knowledge of this seeing as I'm tragically dying a virgin. How pathetic am I? Not only am I snuffing my own life out, but I'm doing so having never experienced the joys of the flesh. Truthfully, I'm not sure whose flesh I would have liked to enjoy, the males or the females, but it sure as hell would have been fun to discover.

Anyway, now that you're sipping on your milkshake and chewing on some curly fries, let's get on with the show.

***TW

The date: April 3rd.

The setting: Beacon Hills High School, home of the Cyclones. More precisely the school cafeteria.

Time: 12:15pm

Now, I know that I don't look it, but I had been on the lacrosse team since my freshmen year with my best friend and brother-from-another-mother, Scott McCall. For the most part I had been a bench warmer, but the one time I had gotten the chance to play, I had totally kicked some ass.

As you can see, the picture depicts a group of students sharing a lunch table. To make it easier on you seeing as the majority of this journal is about this group of friends, I will introduce them to you then give you three words that describes them.

Erica Reyes...the blonde bombshell: Fierce! Survivor! Catwoman!

Vernon Boyd...the tall, muscular black guy and soulmate to Erica: Quiet! Intelligent! Strong!

Issac Lahey...the tall, curly blond guy wearing a scarf even though it was eighty two degrees the day this picture was taken: Shy! Determined! Unstoppable!

Jackson Whittmore...the pompous looking jerk sitting next to the red head: Douchebag! Jock! Spoiled!

Lydia Martin...the beautiful red head and love of my life: Goddess! Genius! Perfect!

Danny Māhealani...the Hawaiian hunk and newest member of our special group of friends: Hacker! Kind! Athletic!

Ethan and Aiden Steiner...the set of muscular identical twins: Hot! Temperamental! Badass!

Kyra Yukimura...the Asian beauty: Clumsy! Caring! Thunder!

Allison Argent...or as Scott would describe her, the Disney Princess with dimples: Huntress! Sweet! Fierce!

Scott McCall...the handsome guy with puppy dog eyes and crooked jaw: Protector! Honorable! Brother!

As you can see, not one person I described as loyal. Before all this went down I would have listed everyone as loyal, especially Scott, but I found out the hard way that the pack didn't have one loyal member in it.

This picture is missing one important person. Me! If I were to describe myself in three words, I would have to say, curious, hyper, lonely. At the time this picture was taken I wouldn't have described myself as lonely though, if anything I had made more friends than I could have dreamed of in the past year, but this is where my loneliness began.

If you notice in the picture, there wasn't an extra chair for me, not even an empty place for one to go. I hadn't known it at the time, but my group of friends (we'll call them the pack from now on) were pushing me out of the pack. I had assumed that this day was like any other school day, until Scott, my best friend and brother, informed me that there wasn't any room at the table for me. He had said that it was because Danny had just joined the pack and that tomorrow he would save me a seat, but I could tell from the way everyone was avoiding looking at me that something was going on.

And just for the record, the following day there wasn't a place for me at the table...or any of the other days leading up to today.

***TW

The date: April 6th

Location: Beacon Hills Movie Theatre

Time: 7:15pm

As you can see from this picture, the pack is standing outside Beacon Hills only movie theatre awaiting the start of the newest Avengers movie. Now while this looks and seems innocent enough, once again you will see that I am missing from the group.

Scott and I had plans to attend the premier, we had actually made plans to see it the same day we saw the previous Avengers movie premier. For months leading up to the premier we had talked extensively about the movie and watched all the previous Marvel movies...more than once. I was dressed and getting ready to walk out the door to pick Scott up when he texted me and informed me that he was stuck at work. There was an emergency and Deaton needed his help in the operation room.

I was crushed, but I understood. Scott loved animals and if there was one in need he would even stand up his mom to save it. As badly as I wanted to see the movie, especially seeing as I had bought the tickets for the premier two month in advance, I wasn't going to see it without my BFF. Not wanting the tickets to go to waist, I hopped in my jeep and drove to the theater so I could give my tickets to some lucky Marvel fan.

And that's when I spotted the pack together awaiting the start of the newest Avengers movie...including Scott. All of them were huddled around excitedly talking while waiting to be seated. Not only had my brother ditched me, but everyone in the pack had also ditched me. Even though I had my own tickets, I hadn't been invited to the movie with them. Scott knew that I wouldn't go without him so he hadn't been worried about me showing up at the theatre and catching him in a lie.

Ouch! Talk about a kick to the guts.

I'm ashamed to admit that that night I cried myself to sleep like a toddler. It wasn't the pack not inviting me that hurt, it was Scott ditching me and lying to me that destroyed me. For so long it had just been Scott and I against the world. We were the two oddballs, the freaks, that no one wanted to hang around with. Scott was always wheezing because of his asthma, and I was a hyperactive spaz who couldn't stop talking for five minutes. We didn't care though, we had each other and that was all that mattered. For eleven years we had been best friends, and never once had I thought that Scott would turn his back on me.

***TW

Date: April 15th

Location: McCall house

Time: 8pm

Not much to say about this picture as it's just the McCall house with multiple cars packed out in front of it, including my father's police cruiser. I had found out from Melissa, Scott's mom, that there was a pack meeting that night. A meeting that I hadn't been informed of.

Yeah, that hurt, but not as much as seeing my dad included in the pack. Not only had my dad been included and not me, but I could see my dad and Scott through the window standing side by side with my dad's arm draped over Scott's shoulder. I couldn't tell you the last time I saw my dad let alone him hug me or proudly drape his arm over me.

Was I jealous? Hell yeah I was! My dad didn't have five minutes to spare for me, but he had time to hang out with Scott and the pack. And why the hell was he hanging out with the pack when I wasn't there? Did he not notice that his son was missing? Did he just not care?

When my dad threw his head back laughing and said loud enough for me to hear through the window, "thank you son I should have had," I knew then that no, my dad didn't care. I had heard him say those words before, but I had always just assumed that he had been joking, but now I know there was some truth to them. My dad wished that Scott had been his son, not me.

Once again I cried myself to sleep, but this time I wasn't ashamed. I was alone, truly alone, I had even lost my father.

***TW

Date: April 17th

Location: Beacon Hills 24 hour diner

Time: 10:45 pm

Taking dinner to my dad at the station had become a tradition, even before I got my drivers license. At least twice a week I would load up my bike with food I had cooked and peddle the five miles to the station so I could spend some time with my dad. At first he had been upset and worried because I was riding my bike so far and on the main roads, but he soon gave in and allowed me to bring him a nice home cooked meal. I got to see so little of my dad that I had come to really look forward to spending an hour at the station eating dinner with him. Most of the times he continued to work on paperwork and hardly talked to me, but that was alright, I was with him, that's all that mattered.

This particular night there had been a bad, multi car accident and my dad had been out late on the scene. He phoned and told me not to bring him dinner because he would be conducting interviews and doing paperwork for hours. I was sad because I hadn't physically in person laid eyes on my dad for five days, but I understood. Such is the life of a sheriff's son.

Not wanting the food to go to waste, I decided to pack it up anyway and take it to the station for everyone else to enjoy. Most of the officers were probably pulling doubles because of the accident so I figured they would appreciate some homemade lasagna and salad.

Imagine my surprise when a very excited and very hungry Officer Parrish informed me that dad was at the diner eating dinner with Scott. My dad, who was too busy for me to just drop him off some food and leave, had time to physically leave the station, drive the twelve minutes and seventeen seconds to the diner, and sit down and enjoy a meal with my best friend Scott. And not just any meal, but a greasy bacon cheese burger that both my dad and Scott knew he wasn't allowed to eat...doctor's orders.

As I sat parked outside the diner, I couldn't help but wonder why my dad hadn't invited me to eat out with him and Scott? Why had my dad lied to me about being too busy to see him? Was Scott really that much better of a son than me?

After I snapped this picture of my dad and Scott smiling at each other from across the table, I started up my jeep and left. The tears started to fall and they didn't stop until I was buried under my blankets on my bed in my room. The house still smelled of fresh garlic and tomato sauce, but it felt cold and empty. I felt cold and empty.

***TW

Date: April 25th

Place: The Stilinski home

Time: 1:12pm

Every time I look at this picture it breaks my heart. As you can see it's just my dad standing by the door looking at me with his eyes narrowed and his lips pursed. We had just had a fight, something that I hadn't wanted to do because we hadn't seen each other in so long. I had just wanted to spend one of my dad's rare days off together.

Looking forward to a one on one with my old man, I had stocked up on all his favorite game day foods, even those that the doctor had vetoed. There was a college lacrosse game airing that afternoon and I figured we could pig out on junk while we watched it together.

I can't even remember how the fight started, but it ended up with my dad throwing every lie I ever told back in my face. I could have pointed out all the times he had lied to me, like the time he ate dinner at the diner with Scott, but I kept my mouth shut and listened as my father laid into me. At least my lies had been told to keep my dad safe, to keep him away from the supernatural bullshit in Beacon Hills, could he say the same?

After laying into me for a good fifteen minutes and professing how disappointed he was in me, my dad stormed out of the house and drove away. He didn't tell me where he was going, but I had an idea. Getting in my jeep, I drove past Scott's house where the entire lacrosse team and pack were goofing around in the backyard where a large screen had been put up to watch the game on. My dad, who had just yelled at me for lying and keeping secrets, was manning the grill with a beer in his hand and a smile on his face. No one seemed surprised that he was there so he must have been planning to go to the party all along. Had he purposely picked a fight with me just so he could get away from me?

At the time this happened I was still on the lacrosse team, but I hadn't been invited to the party. The next day at school I quit the team despite the coach begging me to stay on. I wasn't the star player, but I was the brains behind the team. I honestly didn't care much for playing the game, but I liked being part of the team and it was the only time Scott acknowledged my existence. I also stupidly thought that I had been making my dad proud by being on the team.

I didn't cry that night, even though my dad had purposely picked a fight with me so he could watch the game with Scott and the rest of the team. I just laid on my bed staring up at the ceiling for hours, unable to sleep because of how numb my body and heart felt.

-***TW

Date: May 1st

Place: old Hale house

Time: 4:17pm

This is the only entry in my journal that isn't all boo hoo depressing. No, this had been the highlight of my month. The smoking hot guy in the picture glaring at me is none other than Derek Hale. Derek had moved away a few months prior with his sister, cousin, and uncle, but was back for the day because of business that he needed to take care of at the bank.

Out of everyone he could have visited, he called me and asked to meet with me. Our relationship may have always been rocky, he was broody and badass and I was a hyperactive spaz, but we had also saved each other's asses more times than anyone else's. That kind of thing tends to bring people together.

Not together, together, get your mind out of the gutter! Though I would have loved to have fallen into the gutter naked with Derek Hale. Derek was hot, like smoking hot!

Derek was only in town for a few hours and he wanted to see me so a I drove out and met him at the burned out remains of his old home in the preserve. Derek only had an hour to spare, but it had been the best hour I had had in over a month.

Derek had actually wanted to see me, he had wanted to talk to me. He said that he had been worried about me lately, said that he had a funny feeling that something was wrong. I lied of course and told him that everything was just peachy. I had gotten good at lying to the wolves, it was my spark that helped me, but I don't think that Derek believed me.

Derek had seemed reluctant to leave me, but he had a flight to catch back to New York. Before he left he had promised to keep in touch...but I never heard from him again.

It's okay, I know that Derek wasn't shunning me too, he's just not the smartest when it comes to technology. Derek also isn't much on communication.

Overall, this had been a good day. The best I had had in a long time. Kind of pathetic, huh?

***TW

Date: May 6th

Place: McCall home.

Time: 8:30pm

Despite thoroughly enjoying Derek's brief visit, I was feeling lonelier than ever. The only person who could be bothered to talk to me was Melissa McCall and I only saw her briefly in passing. She had asked where I had been hiding myself, why I hadn't been coming to the weekly pack meetings, dinners, and movie nights, but like with Derek I lied. I told her senior year was a bitch and that I had taken all advanced classes so I was too busy to hang out. It had only been partially a lie, I was taking only advanced classes, but I was breezing through them with nothing but straight A's.

I had learned from Melissa that there was currently a meeting going on at her house, one in which my dad was in attendance. It seemed that my dad attended all the meetings, dinners, and some of the fun gatherings. The man who couldn't spare his own son five minutes in over the past month, was spending hours weekly with the pack.

My dad was spending hours weekly with the son he should have had.

Deciding to confront everyone and ask why I was all of a sudden on the outs, I hopped in my jeep and drove to Scott's house.

As you can see from this picture, the shock on everyone's faces when I walked through the door was priceless. Note how pale my dad looks, he looks like a teenager who just got caught fucking his girlfriend by her scary Marine father. There had been a lot of stuttering and averted eyes, until Scott finally stood up and spoke his mind.

Scott, with his best puppy dog eyes, explained to me that I was no longer pack. He explained how for the past month they had been trying to cut ties with me completely without hurting my feelings. He said that while I was good at researching and strategizing, it just wasn't enough anymore. Because of my human weaknesses I was a danger to the pack. They all still loved and cared for me, but they could no longer be friends with me.

Nodding my head because I had already worked all that out for myself, thank you very much, I turned to my dad who was doing his best to avoid looking at me. I could take losing Scott and the rest of the pack, it hurt, but I knew that I could move on without them, but I couldn't take losing my dad. My dad was everything to me, he was the only family I had and I loved him with all my heart.

Dad finally plucked up the courage and looked me in the eyes. He explained to me that Scott needed him more than I did. Scott was the alpha and he was responsible for protecting the entire town. As sheriff, he knew how hard it was to have such a responsibility, such a heavy burden. He also explained how Scott decided to not go to vet school and instead join the police academy. Scott wanted to be like my dad. He gushed about how proud he was of Scott and what a fine man he was growing up to be.

With tears falling, I said brokenly to my dad, "Scott's the son that you should have had." My dad flinched as if I struck him, but he didn't deny it. Turning around, I walked out of the house, ignoring my dad and Scott who were calling me back.

I was done.

I had lost everything.

***TW

Date: May 22nd

Place: Beacon Hills Sleep Express

Time: a minute past midnight.

So that brings us to today. I wasn't sure how to end this so I opted to use a picture of my mom and I that was taken when I was eight years old. My mom had been the greatest, she was so caring and loving. She didn't care that her son was hyperactive and could talk for hours about the most boring topic. My mom loved me for me, she didn't want me to change. I would like to think that my mom would have continued to feel the same way about me had she lived, but my dad stopped loving me so perhaps she would have too. Maybe, like my dad, Scott would have become the son she should have had too. Luckily, I'll never know. I will get to die knowing that my mom loved me the most in the world. That my mom loved me more than Scott.

I really don't have much to say to my dad and Scott or the rest of the pack, you all made your feelings for me clear. I would though like to wish Derek, Peter, Malia, and Cora the best. Despite everything they went through and their tough guy personalities, they still cared about a freak like me. Yeah, Peter could be a dick and he went through that feral phase after he came out of his coma, but he's better now. Mostly! Hopefully!

Mostly I would like Derek to know that I love him. If I could have I would have stuck around for him, but I know that he has better things to do than to put up with a spaz like me, and I also know that he will never feel for me what I feel for him. He has a family again and I couldn't be happier for him. Hopefully he can find the perfect mate and settle down and have lots of little puppies or cubs...whatever it is that they call them.

So I guess that's it, the end of this depressing journal and the end of my life. It would have been nice to graduate high school and lose my virginity, but I can no longer take the pain. I wonder how long my body will lay here rotting before someone finds me? It will probably be the smell that attracts attention, not the fact that seventeen year old Stiles Stilinski, son of Sheriff Stilinski, is missing. Hell, I haven't been home for two weeks and my dad still hasn't noticed. Oh well, this room is paid for for another three weeks, I guess my body will be found then.

I'm scared, but I have a date with a razor blade. I drank two gallons of water and took a scolding hot shower, so hopefully my veins will be plump and juicy. I thought about doing this in the tub, but I didn't want the crime photos to be of my naked body. I grew up with the cops around here, they don't need the last thing they see of me is my naked, limp dick.

Enough procrastinating!

Enough rambling!

Stiles out!

***TW

"Sheriff, we're going to need that for evidence." a female voice said gently as she pointed to the leather journal clutched tightly in the sheriff's trembling hands.

John could barely breath, this couldn't be happening. Stiles, his little boy, his only child, couldn't be dead. "I-I'm almost finished with it," he explained hoarsely as he choked on his tears.

The female officer sadly nodded her head. "Take your time, Sheriff. I'm really sorry, we all loved Stiles."

John turned his head towards the bed and watched as his officers carefully bagged up the bloody sheets and comforter. God, there was so much blood, it had even puddled down onto the floor. He didn't want to believe it, he couldn't believe. It wasn't Stiles' blood. It wasn't!

"You can't be in here!" John heard one of his officers cry. "This is a crime scene!"

John wrenched eyes away from the bed and looked to the door where Derek Hale was standing there looking as white as a ghost with his hand over his mouth and nose. Just the absolute look of devastation on the werewolf's face was enough to let him know that the blood coating the hotel room was in fact his son's blood.

Feeling like his entire world was crumbling in on him, John looked back down at the journal. He had read up to Stiles' last entry, but there was blood on the page and a thumb print that looked too big to be Stiles'. Turning the page, he looked at the last entry that was written in different handwriting.

Date: May 8th

Place: Beacon Hills Sleep Express

Time: 3:30am

It's a bit morbid, I know, but I thought it only fair that you see the devastation that you caused, Sheriff Stilinski and Alpha Scott McCall. I took this picture minutes after the teen slit his wrists. It's pretty amazing how fast someone can lose so much blood.

I was lazing in the room next door minding my own business when the horrid stench of depression and loneliness started burning my sensitive nose. I tried to ignore it, but the teen's repulsive scent and tears were too much for me to ignore. I listened as the boy wrote his final entry, not really believing that he would go through with killing himself seeing as teens these days are so overdramatic, but as you can see by the blood coating the bed and by the picture I provided, that Stiles did in fact slit his wrists.

It's truly sad that he felt this was his only choice. This boy is incredibly special, I can easily sense it in him. How Alpha McCall missed the fact that he had an extremely powerful spark in his pack, I'll never know. Apparently you don't have to be smart or have common sense to become a true alpha.

I'm not going to turn my back on him though. Stiles is special and I want him as mine. I will take him and save him then I will take his memories from him of his previous pack and father.

I will take away all his pain.

Thank you Sheriff Stilinski and Alpha McCall for giving me this delicious little spark. You're loss is my gain and I won't be stupid enough to throw it away.

Vomit burned John's throat as he looked at the man's signature, a bloody paw print. He would have it analyzed, but he knew that the blood was from his son.

"Where's Stiles?" Derek asked as he stumbled into the room. There was so much blood, so much of Stiles' blood, there was no way that Stiles, his mate, was still alive.

He had returned to Beacon Hills to surprise Stiles and to offer him a place in his pack after graduation, but he had been the one to be surprised when he couldn't find a trace of his mate anywhere in Beacon Hills. Not only could he not find Stiles, but neither his father nor the pack had been looking for him. They hadn't even noticed that Stiles was missing until he brought it up.

He had been frantic in his search for his missing mate, but Stiles' scent had grown stale in his home and around town so he hadn't had a scent to follow. Peter, Cora, and Malia had all flown in the second they had heard of Stiles' disappearance to help, but they couldn't catch his scent either. Stiles may not have known it, but he was their alpha's mate so they had already considered him family.

He had been furious when he discovered that Scott had pushed Stiles out of the pack and that even John had turned his back on his son in favor of Scott. He never understood why everyone thought Scott was so special, the boy was as dumb as a box of rocks.

Scott was also going to get his pack killed, which was one of the reasons why he had planned on begging Stiles to join the Hale pack. That, and Stiles was his mate. He had known that Stiles was his mate the second he laid eyes on him traipsing through the woods with a freshly bitten wolf. He had just been patiently waiting until Stiles graduated and came of age before making his move on him.

Stiles was also a powerful spark, and sparks like him were rare. To have a spark as both a mate and an emissary would have made his small pack one of the most powerful in North America. Not that that was why he wanted Stiles, he wanted Stiles because he was smart, loyal, handsome, fun...basically he was everything he ever dreamed of in a mate. Stiles being a spark was just an added bonus.

"What do you make of this?" John asked as he held his son's journal out to Derek with a trembling hand. This nightmare couldn't be happening, his son couldn't have killed himself because of him. How did he miss the signs? How did he not know that his son had been so depressed?

Sadly he knew the answers to these questions, but he couldn't bring himself to think about them right now. He knew that he was to blame, Stiles had made that perfectly clear in his journal. And his boy was right, this was all his fault!

Derek was having a hard time containing his wolf. His wolf wanted to break free and mourn the loss of their beloved mate. He had been so close to claiming him. Stiles only had a few weeks left of school and then he was going to whisk him away to New York to where he knew that Stiles wanted to attend college. That was why he had moved to New York in the first place, to get everything ready for his mate. He had wanted to prove to Stiles that he could provide for him by already having a home for him and a claimed, safe territory.

Derek wanted to read the entire journal, to read his mate's words, but now was not the time. His mate's blood was everywhere in the room, but there was no body. Quickly scanning what John wanted him to read, he started growling.

"So I'm right in assuming another wolf took my son?" John asked gruffly.

"An alpha," Derek confirmed. "Only an alpha can remove someone's memories. That's even if Stiles' is still alive. There's so much blood in here...too much."

"Would the bite save him?" John asked desperately.

Derek jerkily shook his head no. "Stiles is a spark, he can't be tuned."

John looked at the journal that Derek was still clinging to. "Stiles being a spark is mentioned in there. What exactly is a spark?"

Derek wanted to snarl and snap at the man, maybe if John hadn't been ignoring his son he would have known how special and powerful Stiles was. Maybe then Stiles would have been important to the sheriff too. "Talk to Deaton about it. I'm going to see if I can catch Stiles' scent or the alpha's." He knew that he wouldn't be able too, there was just too much blood overpowering everything.

"I think you should read the journal first, Stiles mentioned you. Once I take it to the station I'm going to have to file it away as evidence."

With tears in his eyes, Derek nodded his head. He was grateful for the man for allowing him to read his mate's possible last words, but he still wanted to tear his throat out. This was his fault, his and Scott's.

***HP

"I can't believe that we all get to go to the convention." Erica proclaimed excitedly as she checked the time for their flight for the tenth time in five minutes. It wasn't often that the entire pack got to go somewhere seeing as it wasn't safe to leave their territory unprotected.

"I don't like us all leaving at the same time," Scott complained yet again as he paced back and forth.

Deaton, who was sitting relaxed in one of the airport's chairs lazily flipping through one of the free magazines scattered about, sighed as he looked up at his alpha. "You can trust Satomi to look after Beacon Hills, its only for a week. With me moving to England in two months you will need a new emissary. This convention in Pennsylvania is your only chance at finding one."

"I can't believe emissary shopping is a real thing," Issac chuckled.

Giving up on getting peace to read, Deaton placed the magazine back on an empty chair. "You're not shopping for an emissary, you're attending a convention to see if you are compatible with any of the emissaries looking for a pack. That is why the entire pack must attend, the emissary must be compatible with everyone, not just the alpha."

"It's going to be strange not having you around," Scott pouted. "I can't imagine anyone being a better emissary than you."

Deaton narrowed his eyes at the true alpha. "I was never supposed to be your emissary, Stiles was. I only stuck around hoping that he would return, but it has been two years and I'm done waiting." His relationship with Scott had never been the same after it got out that Stiles supposedly had committed suicide because of Scott and his father. He hadn't realized at the time that Scott had pushed Stiles out of the pack, he would have told him how incredibly stupid that was. Stiles had been the heart and the brains of the pack.

Scott flinched at the mention of Stiles' name, it was something that he did every time that he heard it. The pain of losing Stiles was still raw and excruciating and he knew that it would never go away. He had so much guilt for the role that he had played in Stiles killing himself, if only he hadn't been such a dick at the time. He had a hundred excuses for why he treated Stiles the way that he had, but all of his excuses were shit at best. He had been wrong!

"This emissary convention is going to be huge, the biggest one ever. Rumor has it that Gage Fenris is looking for a pack"

Lydia snorted. "Fenris, as in wolf son of Loki? Couldn't they come up with a more original name?"

Deaton shook his head, he couldn't wait to rid himself of the McCall pack. When Scott was first bitten and the pack formed, he had such high hopes for them, but those hopes had been crushed after Stiles' disappearance. He didn't like saying Stiles' suicide or death, without a body he couldn't bring himself to believe that the young spark was dead.

"The Fenris pack is werewolf royality, they are the oldest known pack in the world and it's said that they are the direct descendents of the very first werewolf. That's why this convention is such a big deal, the pack that is lucky enough to get Gage Fenris will be untouchable, and they too will be considered werewolf royalty."

"Oh, we are so going to win over that little prince," Erica declared, her eyes lighting up with determination. "I want to be werewolf royalty. I want to be a princess."

Scott stopped pacing as he thought about what Deaton just said. He really didn't care about being royalty, he just wanted the best emissary for his pack. Beacon Hills was still a beacon for all supernatural creatures, the good and the bad, and he needed a powerful emissary to help them deal with all the bullshit that came their way. Maybe, if they were lucky, they will find an emissary powerful enough to connect with the Nematon.

"What do you know of this Gage Fenris?" Scott asked of Deaton.

"Rumor has it that he's powerful, exceedingly so."

"If he's so powerful, why doesn't he remain with his own pack?" Lydia asked, interrupting Deaton.

Once again Deaton shook his head. If Stiles were here he wouldn't have to answer so many questions...questions that the pack should already have answers to. Without Stiles to research everything there was to know about their world, the pack spent most of their time stumbling around blindly. They may have had a chance if Danny would have stuck around seeing as he could have given Stiles a run for his money in the research department, but he had left with the twins after finding out about Stiles. Danny didn't want to have anything to do with the world that broke such a caring soul.

"It doesn't work that way, Miss. Martin," Deaton explained. "An emissary can't be a blood relative to his or her pack. The Fenris pack also already has an emissary, the alpha's mate."

"So an emissary can be a mate, but not a blood relative?" Scott clarified, "And only a human can be an emissary?"

Deaton inclined his head. "It is said that Gage Fenris is considered a mage, and mages are extremely rare. Every pack is going to be fighting for him, I fear that it is going to get ugly."

"How old is this emissary?" John asked from where he was sitting with Melissa. He hadn't wanted to come on this trip, but if the entire pack wasn't present then they couldn't put in for an emissary. He didn't want an emissary joining the pack, not after finding out that that was supposed to be his son's job.

Things had changed for him after the disappearance and possible death of his son. He was still part of the pack and helped them when he could, but his heart was no longer in it. He still attended meetings and the occasional dinner, but that was it. Two years ago he had gotten so wrapped up in the pack and in Scott that he had pushed his own son away. How could he have treated Stiles like that? It broke his heart and made him sick to his stomach every time he thought about it.

"He's nineteen, the youngest emissary that will be there."

"So he's our age," Issac grinned. "It will be easy getting him, we'll be able to relate to him and we're totally cool. "

"We shall see," Deaton said tiredly. "There will be dozens of other packs fighting to sink their claws into the boy...including the Hale pack."

Scott paled at hearing that. "D-Derek will be at the convention?" Last time he saw Derek, Derek had almost beaten him to death over what he had done to Stiles. Derek would have killed him if his mom hadn't pleaded with him not to.

John's ears perked up at hearing that Derek was going to be at the convention. He hadn't talked to the alpha in over a year, but he knew from Parrish that Derek was still actively looking for Stiles. He felt guilty that Derek was still looking for his son when he had given up. It hurt though, every dead end killed him just a little bit more and he could no longer take it.

"Derek too is in need of an emissary," Deaton pointed out. "His pack has grown over the past two years and now that their territory is stable, he's ready for an emissary."

"You keep in touch with Derek?" John asked.

Deaton nodded. "We talk on a weekly basis and the two of us have come together on more than a few occasions to look for Stiles. The alpha is determined to find your son."

Scott rubbed his jaw remembering what it felt like when Derek shattered it into a million pieces. It had taken him over a week to heal from Derek's beating. He had stupidly thought that he was invincible, that he could take on the world and win because he was a true alpha, well Derek had beat that thought right out of him. He never knew that Derek cared so much for Stiles, but the werewolf had almost gone feral after they found Stiles' blood in the hotel room along with his journal.

John felt even worse knowing that not only was Derek still looking for his son, but so too was Deaton. He still had his officers actively looking for Stiles, but he had assigned Parrish to lead the case. Once again it was being proven that he was the worst father in the world.

Deaton tilted his head when their flight was called over the loudspeaker. "Well, that's us. No more talk of the convention, we will be there soon enough. I just ask that everyone be on their best behavior. As your current emissary, it looks bad on me if you all storm in there like a bunch of entitled wolves. Also keep in mind that the McCall packs reputation isn't exactly glowing, despite it having the first true alpha in over two hundred years. Everyone has heard how you drove your previous emissary-in-training to suicide so everyone will be paying close attention to you."

Scott wanted to deny that they drove Stiles to take his own life, but he couldn't. He had pushed Stiles out of the pack then took his father from him, he was responsible for Stiles' death. At the time, he honestly thought that by pushing Stiles away that he was doing the right thing. Not only was this life too dangerous for Stiles, being a human and all, but always having to look after Stiles put his pack at risk. In battle, he didn't want their focus split between their enemy and Stiles. Stiles was the only one in the pack that couldn't hold his own against other supernatural creatures. He was the weak link that they couldn't afford to have.

He knew now that he could have handled the situation better. He could have talked it over with Stiles instead of just pushing him away one day out of the blue. It was also wrong of him to have John in the pack and take up the man's time, time that should have been spent with his own son. He knew how lonely Stiles was and how much he wanted to spend time with his dad. He can admit that it felt good to have the man's attention, to have a father figure in his life again. He hadn't considered how much John hanging around would hurt Stiles. Truthfully, he hadn't even known that Stiles knew that his dad was in the pack and spending time with him.

"We have made some mistake," Boyd grumbled, "but we're not a bad pack."

"You will still be judged," Deaton pointed out grimly.

***TW

Scott held his head high as he led his pack through the crowd of werewolves following Deaton. He could hear them whispering and see them pointing at them, commenting on how he was a true alpha and how he had caused one of his pack to commit suicide. It was hard to ignore them all, but he wasn't going to give them more fuel for the fire. He was here to find an emissary, not make nice with other werewolves.

"Well this is fun?" Erica grimaced uncomfortably.

Boyd gripped his pack mate's and ex-girlfriend's hand. "Just ignore them."

Deaton stopped at a long table that was covered in clipboards. Rifling through them, he picked one out and handed it to Scott. "Write the packs information down on this, names, ages, professions, and anything else you feel is important. The emissaries, after they have been introduced, will look through these and decide if the pack is worth their time meeting. If they want to meet with you and interview you, they will write their name on the space provided."

"We won't get to meet all the emissaries?" Scott asked with a frown. "How will I decide who is the best for my pack if I don't meet them all?"

"Just because you feel they are the best for the pack, doesn't mean that they feel that you are what's best for them." Deaton explained. "There are some emissaries who prefer female alphas over males, some that want an all werewolf pack, some that want to remain in their home state, by doing it this way it saves time. Why waste your time trying to win over an emissary if that emissary will only join a pack with a female alpha?"

"I guess that makes sense," Scott said as he picked up a pen and started filling out the pack's information. He just hoped that an emissary would want to meet them, it will be embarrassing if his clipboard remained blank.

"Deaton, my old friend!" A loud voice boomed.

Deaton' face lit up as he turned to greet the voice. "Garret, I was wondering if I would see you here this evening."

A man, a mountain of a man around sixty years old with shaggy, wild black hair and blue eyes, pulled Deaton into a warm, one arm hug. "Of course I'd be here, I wouldn't miss this for the world, not with my son on the hunt for a pack. I trust my boy's judgement, but he's only nineteen, I'm not going to let him go off with a pack that's not going to appreciate him."

Scott fidgeted when the man turned his intense blue eyes onto him. Was he talking about him? Did he think that him and his pack would abuse their emissary? Scott dropped his head in shame, this powerful alpha had heard about Stiles.

Deaton knew this wouldn't be easy for Scott and his pack, not with everyone knowing about Stiles. It's was amazing how fast news can travel through the supernatural world. Everyone knew of the little spark with incredible potential that took his own life because his alpha kicked him out of the pack. Not only had the alpha kicked him out and severed all pack bonds with him, but he had also turned the spark's father against him. Deucalion had had a field day spreading rumors after he had heard, he was one of the few alphas who had met Stiles and felt his power.

Clearing his throat, Deaton signaled for Scott to approach. "Garret, I would like to introduce you to Alpha Scott McCall, alpha of the McCall pack in Beacon Hills California and first true alpha in over two hundred years. Alpha McCall, I would like to introduce you to Alpha Garret Fenris, alpha to the largest and most powerful pack in North America, the Fenris pack in Pennsylvania."

Scott bowed his head, recognizing that despite being an alpha himself, Alpha Fenris was far more powerful than him. He had never felt so much power in an alpha before, not even in Deucalion and Satomi, both of whom were more powerful than him. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Alpha Fenris."

Garret glared down at the young man, his eyes darkening. He had heard a lot about Alpha McCall, and most of it wasn't good. The alpha was young though, he had never had a proper alpha to train him and he had become an alpha himself less than a year after being bitten so he could excuse some of the boy's mistakes. The one thing he couldn't excuse though was the true alpha's treatment of the young spark he had been gifted. The boy had allowed his power to go to his head and the young spark ended up paying for it. He hoped that Alpha McCall had learned his lesson and was a better alpha to his pack now.

"Alpha McCall, I have heard a lot about you," Garret smirked. "Let's hope that you can prove those rumors false."

Deaton loudly cleared his throat before Scott could respond. Scott may be a true alpha, but he wasn't exactly the brightest. The last thing they needed was Scott accidentally insulting Alpha Fenris. "So, do you have any idea how many emissaries are here this evening looking for a pack to join?"

Still smirking, Garret turned his attention back to Deaton. "Lets see, there are eight druids, five witches, three lesser sparks, and one mage."

"You're son?" Deaton asked.

"My son," Garret confirmed, his chest puffing out proudly. "Gage is a very powerful young man who will require a powerful pack to keep him grounded."

"And do you have an opinion on which pack you would like to see him join?"

Garret chuckled. "Well, we're not supposed to influence them, but I do have a pack in mind, one in which I know will treat my Gage how he deserves to be treated. But, in the end the decisions is his, all I can do is guide him and support him."

Deaton looked to where Garret's eyes had wandered, his own widening in surprise when he saw who the alpha was looking at. "You wish for your son to join the Hale pack?"

Scott tensed, his head snapping to where Deaton was looking. There, surrounded by his pack of over thirty members, was Derek Hale. "I didn't know his pack was so big?" he said numbly as he continued to stare.

"Alpha Hale has has been traveling from state to state for two years searching for his mate and he has taken in a lot of strays along the way. Because of his kindness and generosity, his pack is very loyal to him. He is the kind of alpha I would like for my son to have and to have as part of my family. But alas, us father's don't always get what we want, and I'm sure every emissary will have their name down on the Hale Pack's card. Alpha Hale is in for a very busy night."

"And how many packs are here?" John asked, speaking up for the first time. He was confused, he knew that Derek was still searching for his son, but he didn't know that the man was also searching for his mate. This was the first he was hearing about that.

Garret couldn't keep the hate out of his eyes when he turned to address the sheriff. "Sheriff John Stilinski of Beacon Hills." He spat is disgust.

John was taken aback by the hate pouring pouring off the large and powerful alpha. "I'm sorry, but did I do something to offend you?"

Eyes flaring briefly red, Garret turned his back on the sheriff, snubbing him. "There are fifty two packs here, fifteen of them from Canada. Normally packs don't come down from Canada, so them being here is a treat."

"I'm sure it's your son they have come for," Deaton pointed out. "To not only have a mage as emissary, but also the son of Alpha Fenris, is a great honor. "

Garret started chuckling. "My boy is a nervous wreck, he couldn't sleep at all last night. He doesn't like large crowds and being the center of attention. Gage is also...unique. It's going to take a special pack and alpha to be able to handle him."

Deaton looked down at his watch. "They should be starting soon."

"How does this all work?" Melissa asked as she looked around the room and at all the werewolves. She had no idea that there were so many werewolves in North America, and these were just the ones seeking an emissary.

"They will shortly be announcing the emissaries," Garret explained. "They will announce them from least powerful to greatest. After all have been announced, the emissaries will look over the pack information and sign up for the packs they want to interview with. After that the emissaries will go to their assigned rooms where the packs will then be called in one at a time. At the end of the night the emissaries will announce which pack they wish to join, and if the pack accepts them, then they may leave. Any emissaries left without a pack at the end of the night can mingle with with the remaining packs to see if they can find a match."

"This is going to take all night," Jackson moaned childishly.

"It can, but sometimes a match is made instantly and the emissary will cancel meeting other packs. There's also the chance that you will only have one or two emissaries interested in joining your pack. It's then up to you if you want to hang around to the end of the night to see if there are any emissaries left looking for a pack, or leave and return next year. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't."

"They will be hanging around if they don't get any interviews or make a match," Deaton said sternly. "I am moving whether they find an emissary or not. Beacon Hills is a hellmouth, the McCall pack won't last two months without an emissary."

Scott was a bit upset over what Deaton said, his pack was extremely powerful on their own. Yeah they went to Deaton a lot, but with Lydia and Chris' help they could easily research what Deaton knew. He was about to point that out to Deaton, when a woman walked out onto the stage and started introducing the emissaries.

The introductions when fairly fast. The name, age, and level of the emissary was announced then that emissary walked out on stage and did a little demonstration. Some made the lights flicker, others produced fire in their palms, one even made a ballon animal then animated it to chase a ball across the stage. It wasn't until Gage Fenris' name was announced, the very last emissary of the night, that things got truly interesting.

Groaning, Garret dropped his chin to his chest when the lights went out and everything went pitch black. "Dammit, I told that boy to keep it low key."

Stars burst out throughout the darkened room and started moving slowly around. "Wow! They look so real!" Kyra exclaimed excitedly. She wasn't the only one talking excitedly, there were whispers all around them.

"A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..."

Garret pinched the bridge of his nose. "He had to go with Star Wars. I swear, that boy is going to be the death of me."

The theme song to Stars Wars started blasting, causing some of the weres to wince and cover their ears. The stars in the room started to move faster as streaks of light went streaking across the sky. It looked like a high tech laser light show, but it was all being done magically.

Scott looked across the room to Derek, who was looking at the ground, not at all enjoying the show. He was thinking the same thing that he was, Stiles had not only loved Star Wars, but he had been obsessed with it.

"Impressive!" Deaton whistled as the Death Star joined the stars and laser lights.

"I told you my boy was unique," Garret sighed in exasperation.

After the last note to the theme song ended, the room once again went dark. The room stayed dark for a full five minutes until a beam of white light landed on the stage. Sitting there on the stage with its chest puffed out regally and head high in the air, was a large silver wolf. Gasps and cries of excitement and wonder were heard throughout the room. It took a few minutes for the room to once again quiet down, but after it did the wolf threw his head back and let out a loud, long howl.

"Well, your boy sure knows how to put on a show!" Deaton laughed. "Is that him?"

"That's Gage," Garret said as he rolled his eyes at his son's antics. Standing up, Gage leapt off the stage and into the crowd. "I almost feel sorry for the pack that gets stuck with him," he said fondly.

***TW

Derek didn't want to be here, Peter had to literally drag him here, but deep down he knew that he needed an emissary. His pack was large now, even bigger than what it had been when his mom was alive and alpha, and as such they needed an emissary. It hurt though, God it hurt so much to be looking for an emissary. The only emissary he wanted was Stiles, but Stiles was still missing.

"That one looks like a good emissary! Did you see her breasts?"

Derek gave a light slap to the back of his young beta's head. "Sammy, we do not choose our emissary by the size of their breasts. Stop thinking with you dick!" Sammy was his newest beta and hardest case. He had stumbled across the teen while searching for Stiles in Arizona. Sammy was fourteen but was bitten when he was twelve by a rogue alpha that took off after he bit the boy. Sammy was an orphan who had been in and out of countless foster homes his entire life, most of them he had ran away from due to being mistreated. After running away from his last foster family he had gotten sucked into a violent pack that was more of a gang than a pack. Being the youngest, the pack picked on and abused him. Despite everything though, Sammy was a good kid who acted tougher than what he really was due to his fears and insecurities.

"I can still admire the breasts," Sammy pouted.

"You can admire... quietly." Peter stressed. "You don't want to go pissing off the wrong emissary and get turned into a frog."

Sammy's eyes widened. "They can't do that...can they?"

"The mage can," Peter warned as he gave the teen a wink. "So I would watch what I say around him if I were you."

"That's if we even get to meet him," Cora pointed out as she watched another Druid be announced. "God I hope these druids aren't as cryptic and as frustrating as Deaton."

"I think we have a better chance with the mage than what McCall does," Peter said as he looked over and sneered at the true alpha. "I can't believe I bit that boy, what a disappointment."

"Yeah, he looks like a real dick!" Sammy said, imitating Peter's sneer.

"Mouth!" Derek warned as he glared at the teen. "We want to at least look like we're a civilized pack."

"Sammy's right though, Scott's a real dick," Malia snorted as she gave young Sammy a high five.

Derek grimaced in pain when the lights all of a sudden went out and Sammy latched on to him with his claws out. The teen had a lot of issues, and the dark was one of them. "You're fine, Sammy, the entire pack is here with you."

Gasping, Sammy clung tighter to his alpha, but relaxed some when stars popped out all around them. "Wicked!" He cried as he twisted his head in every direction, his fear of the dark forgotten.

"This must be the mage's trick," Peter said, already impressed with the display.

"And here I thought the animated ballon was the best," Cora said in wonder.

Derek's heart dropped to his feet and shattered when the theme song to Star Wars started playing. As if he wasn't already feeling like shit for looking for an emissary, the mage had to go and kick him in gut when he was already down. Stiles had been obsessed with Star War, his obsession had actually been bordering on unhealthy. He couldn't tell you how many times he had sat and watched those damn movies with his mate. Even though he had threatened to rip Stiles' throat out if he ever forced him to watch them again, he would give anything right now, even his alpha powers, to be able to watch them with him again.

"Oh, Derek!" Cora said sadly as she reached out took her brother's hand. She could scent how much her big brother was hurting.

Derek lowered his head, no longer enjoying the show. A mage would have been great to have in the pack, but if the boy was obsessed with Stars Wars too, then there was no way he could accept him. It was bad enough that he had to replace Stiles as emissary, he didn't need a Star Wars obsessed emissary constantly reminding him of his missing mate.

With a loud yelp, Sammy latched himself back onto his alpha when the room went dark again. He had really enjoyed the show, especially the massive space ship, but why did it have to go full dark again? It was so dark that his werewolf sight wasn't even helping.

"Sammy, its fine, you're..." Derek was frozen speechless when the stage lit up, showcasing a beautiful silver wolf. He had never laid eyes on something so beautiful before.

"Wow! Is it real?" Sammy asked breathlessly.

When the wolf threw its head back and howled, Derek claws ripped through his fingers and his fangs tore through his gums. It took everything in him not to throw his head back too and howl with the enchanting wolf.

"That mage is so ours," Peter declared, his eyes alight with determination. "Other than Fenris, I'm pretty sure that we are the only other pack that has a full shifter. Did you write down that you can fully shift, Derek?"

Derek couldn't take his eyes off of the wolf, and unless he was mistaken, it looked like the wolf was staring right back at him. There was something about the wolf, something about his eyes, that made his body breakout in goosebumps and his blood sing. He hadn't felt this energized, this excited, since the last time he saw Stiles.

***TW

Scott nervously picked up his clipboard, relieved to see that he had interviews with six emissaries, one was even the mage. After the not so warm welcome they had received, especially from Alpha Fenris, he had expected all the emissaries to shun him.

Lydia peeked over Scott's shoulder, her eyes lighting up with excitement. "Yes, we have an interview with the mage! I can't wait to talk to him about his magic."

"I admit, I too am excited to meet him," Deaton proclaimed with a small blush. "I have met my share of sparks, but I have never met a mage. Up until tonight, I didn't even know it was possible for them to shift like that. Young Gage is quite talented."

Scott not so subtly looked around trying to find Derek. "Did anyone notice how many interviews Derek got?"

Pursing his lips, Boyd inclined his head. "I went over to say hi to him a few minutes ago, every emissary here put their name down to interview with him."

"What!" Scott cried. "Every emissary wants to join Derek's pack?" Derek must have really changed over the past two years because the Derek Hale he knew was grouchy, temperamental, and not a good alpha. Hell, Derek's first three betas, Issac, Erica, and Boyd, were now his betas.

"Even the mage," Erica stressed.

Scott ran his fingers through his hair. He could admit it, after seeing that show and Gage's power, he wanted him as his emissary. There was no doubt in his mind that Gage would be able to bond with the Nematon and stop it from sending out a welcoming signal to all supernaturals.

Melissa walked up to the group with a drink in her hand. "Get this, I just overheard Alpha Fenris telling his wife that his son only signed up to interview two packs, ours and Derek's. Apparently it is causing an uproar with the other packs. Everyone wants Gage Fenris as their emissary."

Scott let out a loud breath, his eyes scanning the room for Derek and his pack. In his opinion they had the better pack, especially if you took into consideration that they also had a kitsune, a banshee, two hunters, and a couple humans in their pack, but he wasn't sure what Gage was looking for in a pack. Going by his show and listening to his father, Gage loved Star Wars and loved to joke around and have a fun time. Derek wouldn't know fun if it jumped up and bit him in the ass. Then again, Gage could shift into a wolf and so could Derek, that was something they had in common and could bond over.

John clasped Scott on the shoulder. "Try not to worry about it, if I was this mage I would choose you over Derek any day."

"Rumor has it that you chose him over your own son, Sheriff."

John flinched as though he had been punched. "Deucalion," he greeted darkly. Over the past two years Deucalion and his new pack had traveled through Beacon Hills a number of times, and while they never caused any trouble, they were always rude, smart mouthed, and always had the pack on edge.

"It's not a rumor though, is it?" One of Deucalion's betas taunted. "You fucked over your own son for this loser."

Deucalion held his hand up, stopping his beta from continuing on with his rant. "Sadly this is all in the past, sweet Stiles is gone. Such a shame, the boy had so much potential and he was the brains behind your pack. Did you know that I had offered him a place in my pack? Not only that, but I had offered him a million dollars to joint me, but alas the boy was just too damn loyal for his own good...and look where his loyalty got him?"

Scott couldn't believe his ears, but he could tell that Deucalion wasn't lying. Stiles had actually turned down a million dollars to stay with him. Fuck, he was the worst piece of shit on the planet.

Deucalion smirked, easily reading Scott's feelings. "Well, I must get going, I have an interview with that stunning red headed witch with the black eyes."

As Deucalion walked away, Scott couldn't help but wonder if the witch, or any of the other emissaries, knew that Deucalion had slaughtered his first pack years ago to absorb their power. He wondered what kind of crazy emissary would want to have anything to do with the psychotic werewolf?

Deaton signaled for Scott to follow him. "Come, we have our first meeting with one of the druids."

Scott looked down at the clipboard and read the emissary's information. He was a bit discouraged to see that the druid wasn't all that powerful, not even as powerful as Deaton. On second look, all of the emissaries, with the exception of the mage, weren't that very powerful. Somehow he needed to win over the mage. He needed to beat Derek.

*** TW

Reclining back in his chair, Garret watched as his son nervously paced the room. "You really caused one hell of a commotion out there, first with your little Star Wars and wolf performance, then with only signing up to interview Hale and McCall."

Not slowing down with his pacing, Gage rolled his eyes. "I wasn't going to waste time interviewing dozens of packs when I already know who I want as my alpha."

Garret inclined his head. "I can see your point, but packs came all the way to Pennsylvania just to have a chance at you, you could have at least humored them."

Gage finally stopped his pacing and dropped to his knees at his father's side. "What if he rejects me? What if..."

Smiling sadly, Garret reached out and started running his fingers through his son's hair. "My child, you have no reason to work yourself up so, that boy will choose you, there isn't a doubt in my mind. I'm more worried about you, are you ready for this?"

Gage shook his head no then placed it in his father's lap. "I don't think I'll ever be ready for this, but I have to go through with it. It's not fair to him."

"You, my son, are stronger than what you think. You can do this, I have faith in you."

"I love you so much," Gage sniffed as he tried to will his tears away. "Thank you for being my dad."

Garret easily lifted the boy and settled him on his lap. "You don't have to thank me, child. You are the son that I should have had."

Gage lost his battle with his tears as he clung to his father and alpha. Oh how he had yearned to hear those words directed at him. The man had done so much for him over the past two years that it was going to kill him when he had to leave him to join his own pack.

Rubbing at his eyes, Gage lifted his head and smiled wetly at his dad. "How long have you been waiting to say that to me?"

"Since the night I found you bleeding out in that hotel room," Garret said seriously. "And I mean it, Gage, you are the son that I should have had. Meery and I tried so hard to have a cub, but it wasn't meant to be. I believe the reason for that is because you were meant to be mine. I never visit California, I hate California, but for some reason I felt drawn to it and Beacon Hills at that time. You may not be my son by blood, but you are my son by heart...and I chose you. Remember that, boy, I chose you to be my son, to be my heir."

"And you are the dad I should have had," Gage sniffed happily.

Garret cuddleded his son for a few more minutes before gently pushing him off his lap. "Alpha Hale will be here in a few minutes, do you wish for me to remain?"

Gage started fanning his face in an attempt to dry his tears and reduce the redness in his eyes and cheeks. "Please, I don't want to be alone with Derek and his entire pack."

Garret relaxed back in his chair. "Good, I wasn't going to leave anyway," he smirked.

There was a loud knock on the door, but before it could be fully opened, Gage shifted back into a wolf. "Really, boy," Garret chuckled, "how the hell are you going to conduct an interview when you're a damn wolf?"

Gage hadn't meant to shift, it just happened. He was just so nervous over seeing Derek again that his magic acted out on its own. With a whine, he flopped his head down on the table and watched anxiously as Derek and his entire pack filed into the room.

With a groan, Garret stood up and extended his hand out. "I guess seeing as my son got hit with the case of the nerves, I'll be doing the introducing. I don't know if you remember me, but I met you a few times when you were younger and your mother still alive. Talia was a great woman and an even greater alpha, I was devastated when I learned of her passing."

Derek shook the much larger hand. He was no small alpha, but Alpha Fenris towered over him and outweighed him in muscle by at least fifty pounds. "Thank you. I do remember you, you're kind of hard to forget, Alpha Fenris."

Tossing his head back, Garret started laughing. "Yes, I have been told that before."

Derek's eyes kept drifting over to the beautiful wolf who was sitting by the table. He didn't think it was possible, but up this close the animal was even more stunning. "It's a pleasure meet you, Mage Fenris. I am honored that you wanted to meet with me and my pack."

Gage cocked his head to the side, his tail thumping happily against the floor. It was taking everything in him not to launch across the room at Derek. Two years ago he had a crush on Derek but never expected anything from it, but now after having his spark fully awakened and after two years of training, he knew that him and Derek were mates.

Garret shook his head. "Gage, this interview will go a whole hell of a lot smoother if you ditch the wolf suit."

"I didn't know a mage could shift forms," Peter said as he stared at the wolf in awe. "Is a wolf all he can shift into?"

"He can shift into anything he wants, he just prefers this wolf. He is almost an exact replica of myself when I'm fully shifted."

"I too can fully shift," Derek said, never taking his eyes off of the wolf. "Maybe some night we can run together. I have never had the pleasure of running with another wolf."

Gage started whining. God how he would love that, running under the full moon with Derek. He remembered seeing Derek's wolf form, he was pitch black and beautiful.

"Gage, shift back," Garret ordered. "I know you're nervous, but Alpha Hale will understand."

"Understand?" Derek asked, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion.

Stepping out from behind the table, the wolf slowly approached Derek. Stopping a few feet from him, he shifted back. "Understand why I stayed away for two years even though I knew you were looking for me."

"Stiles!" Derek, Peter, Cora, and Malia all cried at the same time.

"Surprise!" Gage said as he threw his hands up in the air and spun in a circle. "Though, I prefer to go by Gage now. Stiles died two years ago by his own hand alone in a hotel room."

Derek was speechless. He was afraid if he moved or said anything that Stiles would disappear into thin air on him. He honestly couldn't believe his eyes right now. Not only was Stiles standing in front of him, but he was looking better than ever before.

Gage slowly lowered his arms, the smile slipping off of his face. "Did I break you, sourwolf?" He asked timidly.

Without saying a word, Derek approached his mate then wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a hug. This felt real and smelled real, but how could it be real? For two years he searched for Stiles, traveling to every state and talking with every pack he could find, no one had seen or heard of Stiles Stilinski.

Gaga clung to Derek, letting out a small whimper when he felt moisture on his neck. Was Derek crying? "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry for staying away. I knew you were looking for me, but I wasn't ready to be found yet."

"I don't care," Derek said into his mate's neck. "All care is that you are here now and real. Please tell me that you are real. Please tell me that I'm not hallucinating you."

"I'm real, Derek," Gage said as he started to cry. "I'm real and I'm never going to leave you again."

"Damn right you're not," Peter grumbled. "I'm going to handcuff you to my nephew," he threatened.

Gage chuckled even though he still had an alpha wrapped tightly around him. "Hello, creeperwolf, I missed you too."

"Stiles, I can't believe it!" Malia cried. "I thought you were dead."

"Not me," Derek said into Gage's neck. "I knew you were still alive, that's why I never gave up looking for you."

"Technically I did die, but Alpha Fenris is stubborn and refused to let me stay dead. He took me from the hotel room that night and nursed me back to health. For the first year I had no memories of my past life, Alpha Fenris took my memories so I could heal. After time he started to return my memories, but slowly so as not to shock me or send me running for the razor blade again."

"I had grown awfully fond of the brat," Garret said fondly, "I didn't want him trying to take his life again. I knew you were looking for him, Alpha Hale, but he needed to heal before he could be found. He also needed to train, to learn how to control his magic."

Derek reluctantly pulled back, but he refused to let go of Stiles. Gage, he was Gage now, Stiles was dead. "You're alive!" He repeated again, still having a hard time believing that his mate was standing in front of him.

Gage held out his arms revealing long, ugly scars on the inside of both his arms that went from elbows to wrists. "I have a few more scars, but I'm very much alive."

Derek crushed his mate to his chest again. "I am so sorry that I failed you. I didn't know, I didn't know that Scott kicked you out of the pack. The last time I saw you I knew that something was bothering you, but you refused to talk to me about it. I would have taken you away with me right then and there had I known. I was planning on asking you to join my pack after you graduated, to be my emissary, but by the time I returned it was too late."

"Did...did they even know that I was missing?" Gage asked in a small and timid voice. He was over Scott and his real dad, at least that's what he kept telling himself, but he still wanted to know if he had been missed.

Derek tensed, he didn't want to lie to his mate, but he also didn't want to hurt him. The pack and John hadn't know that Stiles had been missing and had actually been missing for weeks. They hadn't known until he had freaked out on them.

"I missed you," Derek confessed. "The second I crossed into Beacon Hills I knew that something was wrong, that you were no longer there."

Gage swallowed the lump in his throat. So they hadn't noticed that he had been missing, at least not until Derek pointed it out. Fuck, that really hurt!

"Forget about them, son," Garret said angrily. He hated that even after two years Gage could still be hurt by Scott and his father. Him and his pack had worked so hard to get Gage to where he was at now, he just wanted his boy to be happy,

"I'm good," Gage professed, though everyone could hear the pain in his voice. "So, sourwolf, you still looking for an emissary? I may be a bit spastic and have an extremely over protective father, but I think I'll make one hell of an emissary for you and your pack."

"You have to be my emissary because I'm never letting you go. Ever!"

"Oh, the feels," Cora gushed. "And then they lived happily ever after!"

Rolling his eyes, Stiles gave Cora the middle finger. "Don't be hating on the mage and his alpha."

Derek growled loudly and buried his face in his mate's neck at hearing Stiles call him his alpha.

Garret cleared his throat loudly. "Alright, that's enough. I'm thrilled the two of you are happy to be reunited, but old dad doesn't need to be smelling your arousals. I'm kind of wishing I can shove a lighter up my nose right now."

Chuckling, Gage carefully extracted himself from Derek, something that wasn't easy because Derek didn't want to let him go. Truly looking around the room for the first time since Derek entered the room, his face went a brilliant red when he saw how many people were in Derek's pack. "Wow, sourwolf, your pack is huge."

Straightening up, Derek tried to compose himself. He too had forgotten about his pack being in the same room. "Our pack," he corrected, though he had yet to discuss with Gage the whole mate business, but he had a feeling that the powerful mage already knew.

Peter smirked at pair. "So tell me, Gage, knowing that brilliant brain of yours, what do you have up your sleeve for Scott and his pack of entitled misfits?"

"Well, right now the true alpha believes he has an actual chance at acquiring a mage as an emissary," Garret snorted. "Even if Scott and Gage didn't have a rocky past, I still wouldn't want my son under that alpha. I don't know how he became a true alpha."

"Scott wasn't always dick," Stiles defended weakly. "The alpha power went to his head."

Both Garret and Derek growled, but it was Sammy who spoke up. "See, I told you that alpha was a dick. Why are you defending him after he kicked your ass to the curb? Even I can tell you're special, and I have only been a wolf for two years. Shit, you need to spit in his eye and kick him in his balls."

Gage bent over and started laughing. "Oh my god, Derek, where did you get him? I love him, can I have him? He's a little badass wrapped up in a cutepie. Oh shit, I bet you were a lot like him at that age, Derek, all fangs and snarls and quick to defend your loved ones."

Blushing, Sammy started fidgeting. "I-I can kick him if you want?"

Gage waved his hand in the air shaking his head no. "Thanks, my new pack puppy, but I can handle Scotty and my biological father."

"You're mine though, right?" Derek asked with a hint of uncertainty. "You're my emissary, my..."

"You're what?" Gage asked, his eyes glowing with mischief.

"We'll talk about that when it's just the two of us," Derek answer as he shifted awkwardly on his feet. He wanted to howl to the world that Gage was his mate, but he wanted to talk one on one with Gage first. He was pretty sure that Gage wanted him, he had smelled arousal on him when they were hugging, but he didn't want to embarrass himself by letting the world know that they were mates only for Gage to reject him.

As if sensing Derek's thoughts. Gage reached out and cupped Derek's cheek. "I'm yours, my alpha, I just need closure with my dad, Scott, and the rest of the pack. After I see them, I'm all yours, no give backs."

Derek placed his hand over Gage's. "I'm never giving you back."

Garret rolled his eyes and made a gagging noise. "Alright, that's all the mushy shit dad can take. Gage, you need to prepare for your interview with the McCall pack."

Gage sighed. "Yeah, I know. Promise not to wander off too far, sourwolf?"

Derek didn't want to leave his mate at all, he was terrified that he was going to disappear on him again, but he had to let Gage do this, he had to let him close the book on Stiles Stilinski. "I'll be guarding the end of the hall so you can't disappear on me again."

Sammy surprised everyone by rushing up to Gage and giving him a hug. "Welcome to the pack. This is the best pack ever."

Derek teared up a bit at that, because of the abuse Sammy suffered while in foster care and with his old pack, Sammy didn't like being touched. They were slowly working on helping him, but this was the first time he had initiated a hug on his own.

Gage smiled down at the young teen. "Thank you, I can't wait to get to know you all better. Hey, do you like Star Wars?" Gage ignored the groans coming from his dad, Derek, Peter, Cora, and Malia.

"I've never seen Star Wars," Sammy confessed sheepishly.

Gage smacked his hand over his heart. "Ouch, you have no idea how much it hurts my heart when I hear someone say that! The first thing we are going to do after I move in is have a Star Wars marathon."

Sammy started bouncing on his feet excitedly. "I can't wait!"

***TW

Deaton was walking ahead of the pack silently fuming. Scott had rejected every emissary that had an interview with him and there was only Gage Fenris the mage left. He honestly didn't think he stood a chance getting Gage, not with how Alpha Fenris seemed to have despised both Scott and John and not with him going against Derek. At one time he would have said that Scott was the better alpha hands down, but now he would have to go with Derek. Derek had changed a lot over the past two years, Talia would have been extremely proud of him. Derek was a good man and an even greater alpha.

"Deaton!" Scott called as he jogged to catch up with the druid. "I know you're mad, but they just weren't right. They weren't powerful enough and they just didn't fit."

Stopping, Deaton turned around and glared at the true alpha. "I'm leaving in two months, even if you don't have an emissary. I would hate for something to happen to you, the pack, or Beacon Hills, but I'm done. I served my time in that damn town. Scott, for twenty years I lived there, my blood, sweat, tears, and magic, are infused in the soil in Beacon Hills, I have had enough. We came here to find an emissary, and despite the less than glowing reputation you have, you still lucked out and got six interviews. Now I admit, only two of them had potential, but you turned them down just ten minutes into the interview. You should have waited until after meeting with Gage Fenris before making your decision. If Gage turns you down, you will be out an emissary."

"I know," Scott said, "but they just didn't feel right."

Deaton angrily jabbed his finger into Scott's chest. "That's because Stiles was always meant to be your emissary, but you pushed him away. You have made so many mistakes, Scott, sometimes I wonder how you became a true alpha."

"Ouch!" Erica mumbled under her breath. "Harsh much?"

"Somebody has to be harsh with him," Deaton snapped. "Scott hasn't just made mistakes, he has made mistakes that have cost lives. I'm through holding his hand."

"Deaton, that's enough," John warned, stepping between the druid and Scott.

Shaking his head, Deaton glared at John. "Scott started the events that led to Stiles killing himself, yet you still stand at his side. I just don't understand you or this pack anymore."

A loud clearing of the throat stopped anymore arguing. "If you guys are finished, my son would like to get this interview started."

"My apologizes," Deaton said, his face flushing with embarrassment. "We didn't mean to cause a scene, it's been a long evening."

Nodding his head, Garret stepped aside and allowed the pack to enter the room. "It has been a long evening for everyone, which is why Gage is anxious to get this interview started."

"Gage just wants to get home in time to watch Supernatural" Gage said from where he was sitting at the table looking like he was getting ready to conduct a job interview. Gage had changed his appearance and masked his scent, he wanted to mess with his old pack before revealing who he truly was.

"It's 9:30 at night, you already missed Supernatural. Besides, you recorded it."

"I still want to watch it before I go to bed. I need my weekly Dean Winchester fix."

Approaching the table, Scott smiled brightly and held out his hand. "It's an honor to meet you, Mage Gage."

Gage pursed his lips tightly together to prevent his laughter from escaping, but he lost it when he saw his dad doubled over laughing silently.

Confused, Scott looked between the two laughing men. "I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?"

Still laughing, Gage shook his head no. "Sorry, it's just that Mage Gage sounded too damn funny."

"His proper title for now is Mage Fenris, but after he joins a pack he will become Emissary Fenris." Deaton explained with a heavy sigh. It had really been a long damn night.

Doing his best not to look at his biological father, because fuck it still hurt, Gage signaled for everyone to take a seat.

Scott took the seat directly across from the mage. "First, let me introduce you to my pack."

Gage held up his hand stopping Scott before he could start the introductions. "No need, I know who everyone is. I did my homework before coming this evening."

Gage felt a lump form in his throat when his biological father took the seat right next Scott. It hurt so much seeing how close his ex-best friend and ex-father were. Did his dad even miss him at all?

"How come you don't have a scent?" Erica asked seductively as she leaned across the table, showing off her breasts. Her and Boyd had broken up a year ago, maybe she could entice the mage over to their pack by showing off her assets.

Gage looked blankly at Erica. "You can put those away, I'm as gay as they come and I have a mate."

Pouting, Erica flounced back in her chair. "Got to give a girl credit for trying. So, why don't you have a scent?""

"Because I blocked it."

"Why?"

"Because."

"But wh..."

"Erica, enough," Scott growled, "it doesn't matter why he blocked his scent. We're here to see if we're compatible."

"I have some questions," Gage piped up.

"Great," Scott grinned, "we have no secrets."

Gage looked at the faces of the people who had once meant the most to him in the world. At one time he loved each and every one of them and would have given his life for them. He was starting to get lost in his memories, when a father gripped his shoulder, grounding him. Looking up, he smiled at his dad who was hovering behind him, his face creased with concern.

Taking a deep breath, Gage looked back at Scott who was giving him his best puppy dog eyes. "I like how your pack is diverse, you have a banshee, hunters, a kitsune, and even humans in your pack"

"We also have a hellhound," Scott said proudly.

"Actually, the hellhound is more pack adjacent," Deaton corrected. "That is why he is not here with us this evening. He's not officially pack."

"Right," Scott agreed, "we're all a close family though, so sometimes it's easy to forget."

"Family is very important to me," Gage said, squeezing his dad's hand. "If I were to follow you back to Beacon Hills, will my dad be able to visit?"

"Of course," Scott answered, though you could see that he wasn't comfortable with the thought of a stronger and more powerful alpha in his territory.

"How about all of you, are you close to your families?" Gage looked directly as his biological father.

"Sadly, none of have much family," John said heavily, "but we all have each other and that's all that matters."

"We're a family," Scott said, grinning at John.

Gage clenched his fists under the table, glad now that he also blocked his chemosignals. "You had a son, did you not, Sheriff Stilinski?"

Paling, John nodded his head. "His name was Stiles."

"Stiles doesn't have anything to do with this interview," Scott said, coming to John's rescue.

"Oh, but he does. I want to join a pack that is not only a family, but also loyal. I have heard rumors of what happened to your emissary in training, Alpha McCall, so I'm sure you can understand my apprehension. I know this is a sensitive subject, but I would like to weed out the rumors, from the facts."

"Stilinski couldn't handle it so he offed himself," Jackson spat. "It wasn't our fault."

Gage's eyes darkened. "Well, with friends like you, I can't imagine why he would take his own life."

"Stiles could handle it," John said, glaring angrily at Jackson. "My boy was brilliant, loyal, and full of life, we wronged him."

"We made a mistake," Scott added softly.

"You call a young man taking his own life because of how you treated him, a mistake?" Garret boomed.

"We were horrible to Stiles," Lydia sniffed. "He didn't deserve what we put him through."

"Then why did you do It?" Gage asked, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from breaking.

Scott numbly shook his head. "I-I don't know why. I think it started off with certain members getting frustrated with Stiles because he was so hyper, then it just snowballed from there. Stiles had been my best friend growing up, my brother, but after I was bitten things just changed. I changed. Stiles went from being a rock, to a weakness for me. He couldn't run as fast as us, see as well, smell as well, he couldn't heal, he didn't have super strength, and he couldn't fight like us, he was just..."

"Human," Gage finished with tears in his eyes. "Why was it just him then that you pushed away? Why didn't you push away the other humans in your pack?"

When no one answered, Garret looked to John. "This happened two years ago when this pack was made up of stupid teens, I would like to know why you, the boy's father, lied to him, pushed him away, and chose to spend time with Alpha McCall over your own son?"

John lowered his head in shame. "I have been asking myself the same thing for two years."

Gage felt like that answer was a bit of a copout, "Did you love Alpha McCall more than your son?"

"No!" John snapped. "I loved my son more than anyone, but at the time I felt like I could no longer connect with him, that we had just drifted too far apart."

"But it was a drift that you allowed," Garrett said, shaking his head in disgust. "You not only allowed it, but you actively participated in it. You lied to your son, you told him you were too busy at work to spend time with him, when in truth, you were spending time with Alpha McCall."

John lunged to his feet. "How the hell do you know so much about what happened to my boy?"

"Because I was there the night your son slit his wrists after pouring his heart out in a journal."

Swaying slightly on his feet, John gripped the back of his chair. "It was you, you were the one who kidnapped my son?"

"I was the one that saved a boy who had been so lonely and in so much pain that he felt that the only thing left for him was death."

"Where is he? Where is my son?" John cried desperately.

"Dead!" Gage said softly, staring down at his hands. "He died two years ago, he committed suicide."

"No!" John cried as he viciously shook his head no. "No! You said that you saved him."

Scott was staring unblinkingly at the mage's chest. "He's not lying, John. There was no skip in his heartbeat."

"He's a mage." Lydia reminded. "If he can mask his scent, he can probably alter his heartbeat."

"I'm happy to see that dating Jackson this long hasn't killed all your brain cells, Goddess Lydia."

"Stiles!" Lydia gasped, her hand over her heart. It had to be Stiles, only Stiles had ever call her a goddess.

From one breath to the next, Gage effortlessly shifted back to his natural form. "Sorry, I meant it when I said that Stiles died two years ago. I'm Gage Fenris, son to Alpha Garret Fenris, and the most powerful mage in the world."

"Pfft!" Garret snickered as he swatted his son's head. "Most powerful mage in the world! Think highly of yourself, don't you, son?"

"That I do, big daddy."

"My god, Stiles!" John sobbed as he stared as his like he was a ghost. "You're alive!"

"Sorry to disappoint you," Gage said dryly.

John went to rush around the table to embrace his son, but Garret moved around and stood between him and Gage. "Back off," he growled dangerously.

John automatically reached for his gun, forgetting that he had to leave it back at the hotel. "That's my son, Stiles. My son!"

"Oh, so now I'm your son?" Gage snorted.

"You have always been my son," John professed passionately, needing his son to believe him.

"No, I haven't. I was just the son you got stuck with while Scott was the son you should have had. Your words, not mine."

"Stop being so fucking dramatic, Stilinski, and get the hell over it. Boo hoo, we didn't want you in the pack because you were worthless. That's no excuse to try to kill yourself to get attention," Jackson sneered.

Gage bared his arms to his old pack. "Does this look like I was fucking trying to get attention?"

John flinched, visibly horrified at his son's scarred arms. "You should have talked to me, Stiles. You should have told me how much you were hurting."

"When? You were too busy stuck up Scott's ass. I tried so many times to reach out to you, but you couldn't wait to get away from me. You lied and told me you were too busy working to have dinner with me, when in truth, you were at the diner with Scott. Did you think I was too stupid to catch you in your lies?"

"I'm sorry, Stiles. Please believe me, I love you so much.

Gage shook his head no. "I don't believe you. Not only did you abandon me, but you didn't even know that I was missing. If it hadn't been for Derek, you would still probably not notice, or care, that I was missing. Fuck, you even stopped looking for me."

"I never stopped looking, I just took a step back and assigned Parrish to lead."

"Derek never stopped looking for me. Hell, even Deaton never stopped looking. Two people who barely knew me have spent the past two years searching for me, while my own father and best friend couldn't be bothered."

"So you knew all this time that people were looking for you?" Allison asked, not unkindly, just curious.

"Not the entire time. After Alpha Fenris took me from that hotel room, he patched me up and stubbornly refused to let me die. When I woke, I was so upset that I failed that all I wanted to do was finish the job I started in that hotel room. Having no other choice, he took my memories from me so I could heal physically and mentally and learn that there were people out there who could love me. For a year I lived with him and his pack knowing that he wasn't my biological father, but also knowing that he loved me as much as one."

"He's brainwashed you!" John raged as he clenched his fists.

Gage rolled his eyes. "He has not brainwashed me. From the beginning he explained to me why I had no memories. He told me that something bad happened and that as a result I tried to commit suicide. He told me that as soon as he felt that I was healed that he would return them to me if I wanted. I am the one who waited a year before asking for my memories back, and I am the one who waited another year to work through all the shit you put me through before deciding I was ready to be found. The only thing Alpha Fenris did to me was help me, care about me, offer me a home and family, and stand by my side. So basically, everything that you never did for me."

"This isn't you," Scott said, his eyes pleading, "The old Stiles would never talk to his dad this way."

"Huh, well like I have said a few times already, Stiles is dead...you killed him."

"Stiles, let us make up for hurting you," Lydia said, reaching her hand across the table to take Gage's hand.

Gage withdrew his hand before Lydia could touch him. "You just want me now because I'm all powerful and can bond with that damn demonic tree in your territory. And have no doubt, I can bond with the Nematon."

"Stiles, you belong with us, I don't care about the Nematon. Please, just come home so we can show you how much we love you." Scott pleaded.

Gage looked at all their faces, they all looked so hopeful, all except Melissa's. "What do you think I should do, Momma McCall?"

"I think," Melissa said looking apologetically to her son and John, "that you should do what will make you happy. I would like to think that someday you will forgive the pack, especially your father, but I can understand why that day isn't today. They hurt you so, so much, Stiles. I also know that you have already accepted being the Hale emissary seeing as you're Derek's mate."

The room blew up at hearing that, but all Gage did was smirk at Melissa. "We never could sneak anything past you, Melissa," he chuckled. "You're right, on both. I did accept to be Derek's emissary, and we are mates. Though, the two of us do need to sit down and have a little talk about that."

"No!" Both John and Scott cried.

"You were supposed to be my emissary!" Scott said, jumping to his feet. "We have been brothers since kindergarten, we were always meant to stick together."

Gage curiously tilted his head to the side. "And yet you pushed me away, you called me weak and a danger to your pack. No, I believe that I was always meant to be Derek's emissary seeing as we're mates. I also believe that Beacon Hills was never meant to be Scott's territory seeing as the Hales have lived there since the beginning of the town. What do you say, doc, do you think I'm on to something here?"

"You're brain always did amaze me," Deaton grinned. "First I want to say that it's wonderful seeing you alive, healthy, and happy. I also believe now that you are correct. The Hale pack is very lucky to have you, Gage."

"Thank you, Deaton. I'm going to miss my dad, but at least Derek's territory isn't too far from my dad's, just a couple hour drive."

"I'm your dad!" John bellowed as he started to cry.

It was hard, but Gage didn't cave under his father's tears. He could count on one hand the number of times he had seen his dad cry and they all involved his mom. Pointing to Scott, he smiled sadly, "Scott is the son you should have had."

Tilting his head back and smiling up at his dad, Gage held out his hand for the alpha to take. "This is the dad that I should have had." Standing up, he walked out the door ignoring everyone pleading for him to come back.

"Do you think you will ever forgive them?" Garret asked as the door closed behind them.

Gage smiled brightly when he spotted Derek lingering in the hall waiting for him. "I'll never forgive them, but maybe someday I'll be able to bring myself to talk to them again. I will always love my dad with all my heart even though he hurt me, but right now my heart is too delicate to be put in the position where he can hurt it again. I may email him after I get settled in with Derek and his pack, but it's going to be a long time before I'm ready to talk to or see him in person."

Garret draped his arm over his son's shoulder. "I'm proud of you, kid, you did good in there. I know seeing all of them hurt like a bitch, but you stayed strong and spoke you're mind without losing your temper. You know that I see you as a son, I have even given you my last name, but if you ever want your real father in your life again, I will understand. I love you and I can share you, but if he ever hurts you again, I will tear his throat out."

"I second that." Derek said, joining the father and son. "I plan to never let anyone hurt Gage again."

"See that you don't," Garret said, flashing his red eyes at the younger alpha.

Gage knew that he was grinning at Derek like an idiot, but he didn't care. "I've missed you," he blurted out, his face turning red.

Derek returned the smile. "I've missed you too, and now that I've gotten you back, I'm never letting you out of my sight again."

Gage allowed his eyes to slowly roam up and down Derek's body. "Does that man you're going to be sleeping with me?" He asked with a wink.

Garret groaned. "I believe that's my cue to leave the two of you alone for a bit. Gage, I expect you back at the hotel at a reasonable hour. Reasonable, as in no later than midnight."

"Midnight," Gage repeated, still staring like a love struck puppy at Derek.

Garret wrinkled his nose is disgust. "Ugh, young love."

Gage giggled as his father briskly walked away. "So, about that sleeping together?"

Smirking, Derek stepped up to Gage then lowered his face to his neck. Taking a deep breath, he ran his nose from his mate's collar bone to behind is ear. "You smell so good. You smell like mine."

Tilting his head back in submission, Gage's entire body broke out in goosebumps. "I am yours," he panted breathlessly.

Derek slowly brought his face around to where his lips were hovering over Gage's, just barely touching them. "I'm going to kiss you now."

"Fuck!" Gage groaned.

"Hmm, I like to do that too."

Time froze and the world melted away for Gage when Derek finally kissed him. He had been fantasizing about this moment since he was sixteen years old. He was so glad that Derek hadn't been a part of pushing him away. Their friendship had started off rocky, but at the same time they always had each other's backs. He knew that he still wasn't completely over what his dad, Scott, and the pack did to him, but he also knew that with the help of Derek and his new pack, along with his new dad and his pack, that he was going to be alright. He was looking forward to the future now, ready to live his life to the fullest.

***TW

Date: August 15th

Location : Hale House, New York, more precisely, Derek's bedroom.

Time: 2:45am

I was wrong!

Wrong!

Wrong!

Wrong! Wrong!

WRONG!

Milk shakes and curly fries are not better than sex!

Guess who isn't a virgin anymore?

I can't believe I was willing to die without ever experiencing this.

Sex is great!

Sex is the best!

I love sex!

I love Derek!

***TW


End file.
